A healthy family (view this story)

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Rep: 91
Peter Huoppi May 12, 2010, 4:41 p.m. permalink

You've got the makings of a nice daily story here, but I think there are a few little things you can do to keep the story moving along. This story doesn't have a natural ending that viewers will want to stick around for, but you can keep their attention by doing some of these.

-Don't be afraid to use narration. It can seem easier at first to use only your subjects' voices, but you end up having to cobble a story together using only direct quotes. You would never do this as a writer. I think a few well-placed sentences could have kept the story moving nicely. Instead, I felt like I was waiting too long for the mom and daughter to tell me the story.

-More natural sound. There were times, like at the dinner table, where I didn't hear anything but the interview. There was one point where you had about 2 seconds of no sound at all. Give me more natural sound. Let me hear what it's like to be there. Also, try to shoot more with an ear for sound. Were they preparing dinner? Some tight shots of chopping the fruit and veggies would give you some nice audio to punctuate the quotes.

-Shoot creatively. Hold the camera steady instead of following the family as they run around the yard. Get down low for a different angle. And get in closer for a few tight shots.

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