"A Library Grows in Boyle Heights" (view this story)

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Rep: 48
Pat Shannahan May 23, 2012, 8:04 p.m. permalink

I like this story. You have a good eye. I think you did a nice job capturing sequences. Nice match edit when he's pulling up the door near the start. I really liked your edits around 2:48 where his facial expressions match the emotions of what he's talking about. Very nice. 


David is an interesting character and I think the viewer gets from the story that he's really committed to this place. I like how you used the shots from the train tracks as b-roll to give us something more to look at and to give us a sense of the area. Nice find. This is a good story and one that needs to be told.

You asked about where you loose the viewer. I think you really need more voices. I kept waiting to hear from someone who uses the library. At one point he talks about how sometimes there will be people from different backgrounds there. What a great spot to have a quote from two culturally different people to back up what he's saying. You really need locals commenting on what a difference this place has made for them, or how it's changed the neighborhood, or even about what books they like to borrow. It will help give the piece more personality. It seems like it's more than a library, it's a community center. Let's hear from that community.

He says a lot of good things but he needs a little breathing room. Natural sound is a great way to break up long quotes. Someone once told me that natural sound is the commas, semi-colins, and exclamation marks  of video storytelling and it's true. It would be great to hear him interacting with people. Around 3:19 we see him talk to a customer. It would be great to be able to hear that interaction. Even seeing and hearing him welcome someone into the shop would help. Natural sound would give us more texture. You did a good job giving us a visual sense of what this place is like. Try as hard to give us a sense of what it sounds like. It's hard for us still photographers to accept but in video, sound is just as important as the images, maybe even more important.

Cool story. I look forward to seeing what you come up with next. 

Pat

Rep: 5
Submitter
Steve Saldivar June 10, 2012, 5:58 a.m. permalink

Pat,

Thanks a ton for your feedback. You're absolutely right.  I should of had more voices in the piece, particularly by how long this piece is. 


I've definitely had issues with giving voices a little breathing room in my pieces before. I'm going to lay down my audio first for my next project and make sure I've given enough thought about natural sounds. 


Thanks for your insights Pat! 

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