Airborne again (view this story)

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Rep: 87
Michael Fagans April 30, 2010, 1:56 p.m. permalink

For a daily it works.

I agree with you that the pacing is slow.

I couldn't tell if this was a story about the plane, where it is the star, or a story about a quirky business that just finished up this restoration project. I think either story works but this seems to be a combination of the two.

If it is about the plane, I would have loved to see detail shots, the interior of the cabin, what the cockpit looks like, perhaps some creative framing of the plane, the tail or flaps moving. They don't have to be up long, but strung together it could help add some pace.

If it is the quirky father and son story, I'd like to see some more of them, together or apart and get some more of their personality and why they do what they do. You have the nice moment about the parachute and then cut to them getting into the plane, a few other moments like that would be cool.

The narration really does hold it together.

Love the sign detail outside their building.

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