5Dmk2, 1Dmk4, Marantz audio recorder, wireless mics, FCP
Pat, was really psyched when I saw another one of your stories up on FTF, last one I saw here was FIELDS OF WHITE, which was fantastic. Beautiful photography on BREAK, loved the choice to be in black and white, really works with this content.
Thank you Colin and Mitchell for checking out my story and for the thoughtful reviews. This story was so much fun to work on. I think you are right about the ending. It does end a little abruptly. There was a nice moment while I was shooting when she was hanging out with the dancers but I only got the tail end of it so I ended up having to go with the pictures. I would have liked to get some nice video of them together bonding but it just didn't work out.
I like this piece, too. Excellent use of slo-mo and great restraint in not using the mirror reflection shot until 1:54.
My comments are about the opening and ending, which could have been more effective. I really like the idea of cutting between action and the teacher's phrases, it pumps up the energy fast. My problem was with the music dropping out each time she talked. Maybe you used the actual ambient sound from each clip, which is why it seemed so choppy? I might have tried taking the music from the first clip and extending it under the whole sequence, dropping the volume slightly when the teacher speaks, but keeping the techno beat going under the whole sequence. That way the transitions would maintain the energy, without having pieces of the audio come and go.
An alternative way to end this might be to shoot someone nailing a difficult move and showing the reaction of other people to the dancer having success. I assume they do get some feedback like this? I'd think it would be a benefit of no longer practicing in a tiny room, but being in a larger public place. I like the sequence where the focus cuts between the dancer and the instructor watching the dancer. That was a great idea. Looking for reaction just seems like a logical extension of where you had already gone so successfully.
Pat, I like how you opened this video with the gymnasts’, then transition to what this story is really about—the break-dancers upstairs. You did a good job of balancing the gym owner’s narrative with the featured break-dancers.
Your visuals are strong with excellent pacing of wide, medium and tight shots.I love the matched action edits at .54 and .58. seconds in. You follow the action and cut on the movement. That is the sign a skilled video editor.
Another edit I like is when your subject says, “It’s almost like walking.” As he says it, you show him doing a crap walk. It's a simple edit, but one that many beginning editors fail to master. When you show what your subject is talking about, it becomes video storytelling magic. Excellent Pat, excellent.
Slow motion effects and still images also strengthen the storytelling of this piece. Only one small audio bump I noticed at the end when you transition from the break dancing studio to the group photos on the wall. My suggestion would be to stretch the studio ambient audio under the photos clip, then fade it out. It would be less jarring.
Pat, your video storytelling just gets better and better...