Buckeye Boxing (view this story)

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Rep: 38
Kevin Wellenius May 15, 2010, 5:44 p.m. permalink

I liked this piece a lot. It has good natural sound, a good explanation of the facts and motivation behind what we're seeing provided by Robert, and some very nice visuals. The strongest visuals were the ones that showed how all this was taking place literally in Robert's house. Kids jumping rope in the street, doing push-ups in the driveway, getting a drink from a jug atop Robert's refrigerator ... these all tell us something that goes well beyond what it looks like to watch people box. I also liked that the piece starts and ends with the sound of the time-keeping box (which we only see at the start, which is the right choice since that teaches us what the device is, and then we recognize it by its sound alone later).

Some of the pacing seems rushed. I wanted a bit more breathing room between Robert's thoughts, or to hear a little more of the ambient sound before going off to the next clip. Also, I think you can scrap the voice-over. Each bit of voice-over could be inferred from the context of what Robert was saying or the visuals of what else was going on, and the unidentified voice is initially confusing in a piece with only one voice.

I'm curious how Robert got the idea to start this, and how his efforts are viewed by others in the community (e.g., parents, police, the kids themselves). There is a redemption theme he touches on at the end which could also be developed a bit more. But, these are themes that could be explored if this were a longer piece. As it is, it's short, it's interesting, and there is minimal opportunity to lose a viewer. I would be happy to see this kind of coverage in my community.

Rep: 48
Submitter
Pat Shannahan May 15, 2010, 7:12 p.m. permalink

Thanks Kevin. I had more that I wanted to use but I had to keep it tight because I was also producing this piece for our sister TV station's Sunday morning show. The most time I can get is around 1:40 and I'm amazed at how easy it is to eat up 1:40.

I wanted to include an interview with a kid. I had a good one but it was my first attempt at using the Zoom h4n and I messed up the sound and had to ditch it. Lesson learned.

Thanks for taking a look,
Pat Shannahan

Rep: 2
Emiel Elgersma May 18, 2010, 12:40 p.m. permalink

The start I like. The radio, the signals, gives a good GO. The images give you direct a feeling what kind of setting it is.

The problem with interviews is the hard cut (I think), you might want to let the guy start talking just before you see him. Also try fading in the sound, so even if there is a bit of distortion, it comes in slowly.

I agree that there is no need for the voice-over. It is clear.

Some scenes might be left out, like the water drinking at 1.30. The one before shows discipline, what he's talking about. drinking water is not. Try to show what the person is talking about.

Too bad you messed up with the zoom, but how was the build-in mic sound? you might try to use that one, or, what sometimes also gives a pretty ok result is to mix both audiotracks.

-Emiel

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