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Peter Huoppi Feb. 13, 2012, 10:32 a.m. permalink

Ian: I thought the photography in this piece was fantastic, but to me it was dragged down by the commentary from Corporal Roberts. From a story perspective, there was way too much "what" and not enough "why and how." His comments were all very factual, and I'm not sure I needed him to tell me now we're looking at a car park, now we're looking at an old piano...I got a much better sense of the place when I got to linger on your photographs and hear the quiet natural sound of the place.
I honestly didn't care about a thing he had to say until the 3:20 mark, when he starts to talk about what it's like to walk up and down these streets everyday. I wanted to hear more of his thoughts and feelings.
I did find the photographs fascinating, and there were a few that I wished had lingered longer on the screen.

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Ian Forsyth Feb. 13, 2012, 11:16 a.m. permalink

Thanks for the feedback and your thoughts Peter. Appreciate you taking the time to view it and get back to me. I'll take on board what you said about the narrative.
Regards,
Ian

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