Dignowity Hill Puschart Derby (view this story)

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Rep: 21
Chuck Fadely April 29, 2010, 9:27 p.m. permalink

Loved the pushcart cam! Brilliant move to mount a camera on the cart.

Also loved that it's fun and not boring all the way through. But I think you could have turned it into a story - with beginning, middle, end - instead of just a vignette of an event going on.

It might have been good to focus just on the one team and the one run - build up some anticipation, show the race/pushcart cam, then explore the agony of defeat or joy of victory.

I think this video needed some action/reaction - I would have liked to have seen what happened when they finished - what was their reaction? What was the reaction of the crowd?

It probably would have been good to interview them after the run and get them describing it and how they did. Whenever you capture something cool on tape, go around afterwards and get people to talk about it. Hearing a few quick bites during the onboard footage would have been great.

It also might have been good to break up the opening monolog with some nat sound breaks. The narrative sounds a little rushed and needs some breathing room in between thoughts.

Rep: 14
Tony Overman May 3, 2010, 6:30 p.m. permalink

Started off colorful and strong with the girl's interview, but then bogged in the transition to the next interview. Each of the story parts seemed to have a tough time transitioning to the next scene. Some colorful audio that could fade up underneath, then transition and fade down might help.
I loved the shot of the start of the race, with the cart entering and moving through the frame. The cart-cam was a great addition, but went on too long given the shaky nature. I could have done with about half of that cart-cam video. I appreciated the cart-cam shot looking forward...that was nice..but it was only there for a moment.
And the video ended kind of anti-climatically. For such a fun event,
I would hope from some laughing or nat sound like "What a blast!" or something like that to fade out at the end to close the video.
I didn't get much of a sense of the fans. There had be equally colorful people watching this funky event.
This was a fun video...creative camera usage...neat event.
Work on the transitions.

Rep: 4
Submitter
Billy Calzada May 3, 2010, 10:13 p.m. permalink

Thank you for the comments Tony and Chuck. Funny you should mention following one team. That's often my intention; telling the story through one team or person's experience is usually very effective. However, I often find myself being "seduced" by other tangents, and therefore, I sometimes lose focus on my story. I gotta work on that.

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