Details
Category: Feature
Media: Video
Turnaround time: More than a day but less than a week
Description of story
A project I did for WKU Mountain Workshop. Shot over the course of 4 days, but had to make a 2 minute clip, so it was a tight edit. Really my 2nd ever multimedia project, so feedback is greatly appreciated.
Feedback requested
Anything would help. Had a lot of professional coaches at the work shop who helped us along, but always looking for ways to improve. This is not so much a ground breaking story, but a profile of life in small town america.
Gear used in production
Canon 1DMKIV
Canon 5D MKII
Sennheiser G3Wireless Lav Kit
Edirol R-09 Audio Recorder
RODE Video Mic
There are a lot of fantastic parts in this story. The ringtone at the end made me laugh out loud, and I loved the juxtaposition in the beginning of the church and the hunting.
I have mixed feeling about the opening. I like the setup of the good Christian family in church and the surprise reveal of the fact that the story is all about hunting, but I think this comes a little too far into the piece. We're one third of the way in before we get to the hunting. I'd trim a little from the start. Maybe open with a visual of the church service and the quote "we try to live a good honest Christian life..." The preceding quote, while it displays nice emotion, feels tacked on and doesn't seem to flow with the rest.
The visuals and the natural sound in he middle part are great. I think maybe there are a few of the close-ups and portrait-type shots that feel a little forced, as if you didn't have more compelling visuals to use, but overall I like this part a lot.
You have a good beginning and middle, and a funny kicker, but I think the story needs an end. I'm left wondering about the game preserve. Has it been successful? What does the future hold? I think one or two quotes along these lines would have completed the story.
For your second project ever, I think you're in a great place. Work on focusing your story a little bit, with a strong opening and a good ending.