Fight Like a Girl (view this story)

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Eric Seals Dec. 9, 2012, 3:42 p.m. permalink

Hi Ryan,


I liked how you opened this with just the rhythmic sounds of the rope hitting the mat. Seeing that all hang around just a more few seconds would have been great. Having a nicely built sequence from other angles, tight on her feet, details of her hands working the rope etc.

There is a part at 11 seconds where she says "but if (laughter) you make a wrong move you're going to get punched in the face...." That breathing laugh? I'm not going to say her laugh was annoying in mid sentence just for me it was something that stuck out, wasn't clean.

Liked your choice of having this in black and white and the length was good.  What was missing was another voice in this piece like her coach, a fellow competitor/training partner to talk about her drive, motivation basically someone to back up or compliment what she was saying.

I was reading your description how she won the "International Chinese Martial Arts World Championship" Any pictures or video of her from those fights?  The part at 18 seconds where she says "it's really harrowing to be in a little ring and have someone come at you to do some damage" any footage like that would have been a great to of had underneath that bit of audio.  It would really put us in that ring with the bright lights, the opponent, the crowd, etc.

The part at 1:39 with the pan of the newspapers was she in any of those? It wasn't long enough to notice and it wasn't very smooth and steady. 

Think about beginning middle and end with this.  Take us on a journey visually as we also listen to the audio story you underneath it. 
Something along the lines of her preparation before the training session. Starting out wrapping her hands, putting her hair in a ponytail. Then take us to the sweat and intense workout, the nat sounds of heavy breathing, tight detail, the hustle and flow of how fast she moves, etc and towards the end wrapping it up with a nice ender.  You could go the cliche route with her walking away for push and challenge yourself to think outside the box.


Nice job! 

Sorry it took so long to get to this.

Eric


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