Forced to Beg (view this story)

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Rep: 50
Michael Lloyd May 11, 2010, 1:32 a.m. permalink

I wonder if this story needs more time. It seems to be about two medically challenged women who placed an ad for help and got no response. Sad, but kind of a thin storyline.

I thought it was shot pretty well, especially the stuff of mom. I loved the opening comment about we ring hats. And there was a lot of good coverage of her in her wheelchair. It doesn't seem to have much other activity. And the fact that it really has no ending, except one of in action to the ad, makes me want more.

A couple of technical things--watch the typos, there was one in your intro to the piece on Vimeo and another missed space on a text slide. And the shot of the newspaper add could have been a lot tighter. You moved in on it, but not to the point where it could be read.

Mike Lloyd

Rep: 87
Michael Fagans May 11, 2010, 3:34 p.m. permalink

Phil:

I was also curious why you did you ID's on the black screen and not as an overlay?

I think you have the pieces parts of the story, I am just not sure it is in the right order. Having down the workshop thing, I understand not having all the time or equipment we might want. But that being said, I often recut things on my own time when I get home.

Rep: 14
Submitter
Phil Carpenter May 12, 2010, 5:12 a.m. permalink

Hi guys. Thanks for the comments. @Mike #1. The thing that caught my attention was that someone would place an ad in a newspaper, to beg for money. The story behind why, for me, was the story - a disabled woman helping her disabled mother.

I had only a few hours to research, pitch and shoot it (workshop rules). I ended it saying that they hadn't received the help the advertised for when I shot it. Would have been nice to follow up with them after a week or so to see if they got the money eventually, but since I was there for only a week it wasn't possible, sadly. So yeah, I really agree that it needed more time.

The shot of the newspaper REALLY should've been tighter, but couldn't with the lens I had (first frustration). Thanks fr saying that it was shot well, but I wasn't too happy with it ;-)

@Mike #2. I used the id's on black screen as an experiment. Saw it in a documentary a while back and decided to try it. The pieces to the story were arranged according to what we learned on the workshop ;-)

For me, the biggest challenge was trying to figure out how to use the daughter's voice to tell the story without having the story drag too much, because she speaks really slowly and with not much volume.

Overall I dodn't think it was my strongest piece, and I sat on it for almost a year after returning from the workshop. But I had so much positive feedback from friends, some of who were moved to tears, I decided to share it with the public.

Thanks so much guys. Really appreciate this.

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