Jump (view this story)

4 comments - Login to comment

Rep: 444
Eric Seals July 24, 2011, 6:52 p.m. permalink

Hi Jason,
I loved the way it started with the blue sky, audio of the rider to match the nice angle of horse jumping over the camera.  I thought it was a great visual start and gave me a preview of what I thought were going to be other nice moments as engaging as the start.

From that point on it felt like a collection of some repetitive b-roll (walking horses, brushing horses, etc) and it felt like an exercise more than a cohesive story, especially visually.  There were some nice moments in here but you didn't stay on them long enough or let them play out more. Several come to mind from the nice framing of the rider at the 1:58 mark to 2:24 when the horse is getting washing at the water is trickling down his face, I would of loved to have seen that longer and even tighter  with longer glass or getting in close with a wide.
It's just that there could have been more exploring with a variety of lenses, shooting style, moments.

I love the shooting and editing when the rider is talking about that 2 seconds in the air and you have that really nice sequence. Nice job!!

I really didn't connect with either rider you profiled. One reason is because you didn't have a sit down interview and had face time in this piece.  I think we need to see our subjects talking to us once or twice. for that connection.

There were some long breaks with sound that just didn't flow well in this.  I'm talking two times, from :14 to :36 and :58 to 1:11. Too much of a break for me. Watching it make me think and wonder "Ok, who is going to talk next and bring them on."  Viewers of newspaper video storytelling online are very picky and you always have to keep things moving.  

A long pause or break is good but only if it makes a good point at the right time with the right subject matter.  A piece with some emotion to it where you want us to hang on to moments like that are perfect for this but on this is was just to long.

Hope the feedback helps and be sure to check out other videos on here, good learning on this site.  

Hope you'll post again.  

Eric


Rep: 141
Colin Mulvany July 24, 2011, 10:54 p.m. permalink

Good critique Eric on all points.  Pacing seemed kind of slow to me too. Your visuals are sweet and I like your many tight shots, which really strengthens your sequencing. I love the opening shot, but wish the nat sound audio was punchier. Also, the pocket dolly shot with the slow motion on the first jump was most excellent. I watched it three times. Very cool and cinematic. 

Rep: 444
Eric Seals July 25, 2011, 6:35 p.m. permalink

Very true Colin, Jason's piece was cinematic at parts.


I forgot to add that I'm glad he didn't have this be really long. It was at 2:37 and you and I both have seen many pieces that just dragged on and on to a point where we just stopped watching.  Some of his visuals kept me watching to see where he was going to go with this.  

While it teetered on not having a defined storyline and hook for me it could have been cleaned up a bunch with tighter editing right from the start with the laying down and building of the audio on timeline assuming Jason produced this piece that way.  

I noticed it has 3 months ago that he posted this and I hope Jason didn't give up on FtF and will come back to see the review, comment on it and watch other videos...all part of the learning process we are going through :-)


Eric

Rep: 5
Brandon Ross Aug. 15, 2011, 6:24 a.m. permalink

as beautifully shot as anything i've seen. absolutely magical visuals.

gotta find a story in to tell. even a mediocre story, paired with these visuals, would make a great piece.

ditto on colin's comment about the nat sound. really want to hear richer sounds. wherever the mic was for the opening nats just didn't work as well as it should. might need to try getting audio from the ground, or the fence being jumped over? i really wanted to hear some clear galloping.

i don't make it through a lot of videos all the way through. this one i did, because of the visuals. great shooting., jason.

Login to comment

Likes

You must be logged in to like this story