Kansas City Overview (view this story)

7 comments - Login to comment

Rep: 33
Adam Wisneski Aug. 5, 2010, 7:26 p.m. permalink

Your "worst tripod ever" comment in the gear specs made me laugh out loud. 


Overall, this piece is solid. Informational and fast. 

To respond to your questions, I think the pacing works well. You've got solid shots that show what it is you're talking about, and the fast pace let me as a viewer know that you weren't going to bore me or waste my time. Five things, in and out, snap. I liked that.  

And, to be honest, when I read the title I wasn't exactly excited. But I was surprised at how you pumped some energy into something that could have been very slow and VERY boring. 

The tone of your voice sounded great to me. I'm glad you didn't lay on the broadcast style tone too heavy. You talked fast, but not too fast. IMO, your voice matched the pace of the editing. Good job with that. 

Some of your narration kind of got to me though. "Kansas City is where the fun is at, City of fountains won't disappoint." Those were two that I think you could reword and take down the cheese factor. My opinion.

The section that I thought worked the best was #4. Here's why I think so:

You've got a funny surprise at the beginning "Don't let the gas station fool you." 

You've got a hilarious quote from the owner(?) that shows personality and let's me know what kind of place this is. Also it let's me connect with a person, which helps me see myself there. The quote also helps back you up in your claim that it's the best. The owner isn't humble, he knows it's perfection.

You've got a specific, unique fact "meat smoked 16 hours" that was interesting. You could have said "the meat is smoked and considered delicious." But you didn't, you let one interesting fact perform the task of both informing me, and helping me infer what that meat might taste like. 

-----

Your sequences look solid. Nicely composed shots, tight medium wide in most cases. Good scene setting with your wide overall shots.  I'd lose the pull zoom shots. Overall, I enjoyed this. And now I want barbeque.

A


Rep: 6
Submitter
Evan Scherr Aug. 6, 2010, 6:23 a.m. permalink

Thanks, Adam. I posted this at TripFilms.com and it was selected as an Editor's Pick and it lead to my first paid assignment at this. The reviews and assistance that I've received at Finding the Frame have always been insightful, honest and have helped me get better at this. So thanks to all of you Reviewers out there that gave up a few minutes of your busy schedule to give me feedback. I really appreciate all of it tremendously! 

Rep: 444
Eric Seals Aug. 6, 2010, 6:40 a.m. permalink

Nice Evan!!

Full of information, good visuals, your script writing and narration are getting much better. I love how you did the top 5 things to see and do in KC. I'll have to go to that BBQ joint next time I'm there.

Plus I like that it is 1:31, short and simple! :-)

The only two things I'd say to work on is 
1. That fast zoom out at the :50 sec was distracting for me. I know you were keeping in consistent with the quick edits but that didn't work for me. 
2. Your video doesn't have pop to it in terms of saturation and brightness.  Seems dull in quality, don't know if you are using FCP but if you are add some saturation to bring out the color (but not to much) or maybe it is a camera issue?

Nice job!!

Eric

Rep: 6
Submitter
Evan Scherr Aug. 6, 2010, 1:27 p.m. permalink

Hey Eric,


I use FCP and added saturation back into this video. When I watch it in HD it looks good. I'll keep practicing with color correction. 

Funny, my wife said the same thing about the quick zoom outs. I was playing, seeing what worked and what didn't. I will leave these out until I prefect the move. 

Thanks again for your feedback...

Evan

Rep: 444
Eric Seals Aug. 6, 2010, 1:31 p.m. permalink

Cool, perhaps it is an issue when it is uploaded onto YouTube? I notice that sometimes my videos on my Vimeo page are just a bit darker than on the screen with FCP or in quicktime.


Wives are our best critiques huh? Especially when we don't get the big list of chores they left for us to do on our days off!  :-)

Eric 

Rep: 15
Kathy Strauss Aug. 9, 2010, 7:09 a.m. permalink

Evan -- I like that this is short and sweet.  Makes me interested in a place I've never visited. I agree with Eric that the color quality is bland but the variety and pacing of the shots prevents that from being terribly distracting.

I don't have a wife but when I need an honest opinion about one of my stories, I post it on YouTube for my mother to watch!

Rep: 444
Eric Seals Aug. 9, 2010, 9:19 a.m. permalink

LOL!!   You're lucky your mom can go on YouTube. My mom is so computer illiterate despite my attempts to show her how easy it can be. Maybe your mom can teach my mom :-)

Login to comment

Likes

You must be logged in to like this story