Kids of Suburbia (view this story)

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Rep: 91
Peter Huoppi Dec. 9, 2010, 7:55 p.m. permalink

This is a cool idea, a non-traditional type of story presentation. A mantra that we hear an awful lot in video and multimedia is "Show, don't tell." I get the story that you're trying to tell here, but I think you need to let the material show it rather than explaining it to me in a voice over.
You say the interviews with the subjects didn't work. Why not? I know that young people are often difficult to draw out, but you managed to capture a lot of personality in your portraits. I want to hear more of that personality in your audio.
I also think you need to decide whether this is a portrait project or a documentary photography project with some portraits mixed in. Your portraits are much stronger than the other photos. I'd rather you stayed on the portraits longer and let me hear some of what your subjects had to say. I you want to spend the time to do more documentary work, show me a portrait to introduce someone, and then spend with that subject documenting their life. The documentary shot are much weaker and seem just thrown in compared to the portraits which look like you put a lot of thought into them.
When I spend more time looking at the portraits, I want to know more about these kids. Why the American flag? Why the hobby horse? You explain the drugs and alcohol, but these other don't fit with that theme. I want way more info than the few words in the image info roll-over.
Some technical notes:
I like the casual tone of your voice over, but the ums and ahs make it seem unprofessional. I think you can keep the conversational style with a cleaner delivery.
The navigation isn't obvious to me. I was confused when the VO ended and the slideshow continued. I didn't realize for a long time that you had thumbnails hidden on the right.
On my laptop, the presentation is too tall for my browser window, I can't get the "info" button and the info text that pops up on the screen at the same time.

Rep: 3
Jimmy Hickey Dec. 12, 2010, 7:08 p.m. permalink

Thanks for the comment Peter. I see what you are saying in regard to the portrait project vs. Documentary project and recognize that I must decide between the two if I want the strongest project possible. I'll make some editions to it and try to expand on a few different things. Thanks for taking the time to send me this message.

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