Life In The Blue Lane: stories of the Kahnawake Mohawk Peace (view this story)

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Michael Fagans May 4, 2010, 9:34 p.m. permalink

Phil:

Yup, it is long. I think 4-5 minutes tops with this one, maybe even shorter.

There is solid footage in the piece, the lights and action around 4 minutes is your best stuff other than the intro scramble. There are some good interview moments, decent action for a ride-a-long; it is just that everything just feels long. Sometimes when you cut out of an interview or on a gesture or on someone’s movement it can help move things along. Even when the officers are heading out you could have cross-faded from stairs to hall to parking lot so the sequence moved faster.

There was a lot of mic noise, both movement from clothing and hard syllables.

In general, I think your idea to use the call as a narrative thread was a good one, but you could have easily run some of the interviews underneath the action. There were a lot of talking heads on screen longer than they needed to be. Generally I ID someone for 5 seconds on a 7 sec clip and unless it is about them, they have a neat gesture, say something funny, or exhibit some emotion, I don’t come back to them.

The hardest part is the brutal act of editing, of focusing your story. My questions are: are these officers unique? Are the same as the RCMP? Is that night typical? Same?

I guess I want to know why I should be invested as a viewer. I know that Colin always pushes me to move my best stuff to the front, because if you don’t catch folks then they will tune out. You have some nice stuff that could be cut into much shorter and more effective sequences. Then I would think about cutting down the interviews, help sharpen what your subject’s are trying to convey.

It is tough to edit tight and hard on dailies.

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Submitter
Phil Carpenter May 5, 2010, 4:19 a.m. permalink

Thanks a lot Michael. I'll chop a couple mins.

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