Sony EX1; Sennnheiser shotgun and lavalier mics; tripod.
Haha.
Thanks Eric. Dude, I WISH I had more time to shoot. Sadly I had about an hr or so and then I had to edit!
Also I really wanted to speak to a client - especially to find out about the aphrodisiac ingredient and whether it works for them -something fun like that. Yes, it is important to get ore than one voice, for sure.
And yes, I hear you abut getting more of people reacting to the 18+ section. Grrr!!! But I had one Sunday evening to shoot and edit it.
Can't win 'em all I guess, but thanks for the feedback. Really helped.
As for GP this June, just holler when you know for sure man.
Take care.
Yeah Phil, I figured you only had a short amount of time to work this story. Good job though knowing you just had one hour to shoot then edit it.
Phil,
Delightful story. The woman's enthusiasm is wonderful and you captured her well. The story is well told and complete.
I think the video would be more effective with a tighter edit. I'm thinking perhaps starting with the young girls peeking behind the curtain. A little narration then to clarify, and cutting to the woman showing and talking about the naughty cookies. Concise, ironic and complete.
Good job!
Yeah, tighter edit. I think your story starts at 1:15 with the "my lover.." quote. I think all of the info before that is unnecessary to the story. A quick sequence of G-rated bakery activity might create a funny juxtaposition with her quote about lingerie, and then reveal the erotic cookies.
Overall though, a terrific find - an engaging subject with a funny and unique story. I think the kids peeking into the 18+ curtain was one of the best moments. Maybe a strong place to end.
Thanks for the feedback guys.
About starting the story where she talks about her lover, I was trying to lead the viewer into the story by setting it up then unfolding it, rather than revealing everything straight away. Following a school of thought that says a story should be revealed in layers rather than all at once.
So what i tried to do was set it up so viewers see it's a cookie store that is family friendly. I thought that if I revealed the erotic cookies first, the viewer would have no reason to stay and watch.
So I tried to build it to climax, but I think I could've started her talking about her lover, at second 00:48 or so. I also i think I coulda shaved off even a bit more of the first minute, if I had voiced it.
I thought about voicing it, and I usually do for pieces like this. But i had little time, and i also thought that her character was so strong it probably didn't need voicing. I'm still having thoughts about it though.
Thanks again.
This is a great find and the perfect story for a video. My first thought was that my paper would never run this story! But I really liked it. On my first viewing I felt it was too long by a minute but upon watching it again... for this story... I'm fine with breaking the 4:00 mark. The pacing was fine, I understand your feeling of wanting to build a story and since in the title it reads "Erotic Cookies" you have the viewers attention and I believe they would watch the video to at least get a look at these unique desserts and by that you didn't have to show them in the first ten seconds.
On a personal note, I would have liked to see more varied compositions on Isabelle's interview... wide or tight... just to mix up the visual variety (I often change up my composition during interviews as I'm asking a question so as not to interfere with a good quote) and maybe a few detail shots using a tripod not sure if that was even possible because it did look crowded in there. Overall it's great. Thanks for sharing.
Here here Phil - nice work. I'd agree on the length and the start with the "my lover." The key is you found a great character in this owner/creator. Great work for such a tight turnaround too. I think the details on the cookies were plentiful - made my mouth water - that's good. And - the time around the "18+ curtain" was just enough. Got the point across that it's just one thing they do.
Hi Phil,