Hey Drew,
Thanks for posting this video - it was quite an ambitious undertaking.
I thought it had some nice moments, both visually and in the audio -but there was a lot of material to wade through to get there.

Like most of our work, it would have benefited from some serious editing. I watched it through, but probably wouldn't have if I didn't feel obligated to give it a shot.

A few observations.
It's pretty ironic that Elizabeth (I'm assuming she's narrating) talks about how important photography is and yet you rarely if ever let the still images stand on their own. Just because you CAN make pictures move, doesn't mean you have to!  The panning and zooming and 'ken burns' effects throughout started making me seasick.

I really think those kinds of effects need to be done sparingly and for good reason - zoom and pan as a storytelling tool to show me something or reveal something - not just because you want to keep things lively.

Story-wise, this ended up feeling like I was reading someone's journal or diary of a trip. While I'm sure people involved in the trip found it all interesting and loved it, for me it was way to heavy on the process of the trip and not nearly focused enough.

We hear about the trip, and the archaeology and her love of photos and then a little about some of the people she met and then her plans for a photo exhibit.

I would rather have seen a 3 minute video that was pared down to one or two themes - maybe focusing on how the trip affected and changed her. Since you don't have access to interviews with any of the people in Yemen, go with what you have.

She was a relaxed and engaged narrator - easy to listen to, and very sincere sounding. But she needed to be pushed and challenged in an interview to bring out more  - the story needed more specifics and details of what she experienced and then more reflection from her.

It did make me miss the Middle East though...:)

Drew:

Here we go, you asked for it.

As with almost every crit on this site, it could be shorter.

The things that stood out for me were the archeology, parts of the travelogue and the reflection on the experience.

I am really glad you built breaks into the audio, that gave me time to mentally digest.

The intro was long for me at a minute. Part of what made it hard to watch was the shaky cam. Trust me, I know how hard it is to shoot that stuff, I just tend to edit it tighter. I also think you could have edited tighter some of the panning video shots. So instead of people, pan left to goats, pan to equipment it becomes people, cut, goats, cut, equipment.

I might have also edited the audio tighter, taken out ums and redundancy. She had a tendency to trail off at the ends of sentences so I would have tweaked that in post or asked her to be mindful of that during the interview. I also think you could have pulled the audio from some of the video clips, especially the call to prayer, to use underneath the still images. The call to prayer video was not visually interesting although the audio was key.

Not knowing which version of iMovie you have, the "Ken Burn's effect" can be overused and hard to turn off depending which version. I actually liked the earlier iMovie, it was more like FCP. There were/are times for the panning through images, but as a viewer I would like a payoff for the trip. If it is just movement for movement's sake I get tired. There were many images that could have stood on their own with movement.

The quote that really caught my attention was at the 10:30 mark, and I would be sorely tempted to get it up front, maybe even as part of the intro, to catch people's attention or interest. As you may or may not know, people start dropping out of video, even really good video, almost as soon as it starts. It seems counter-intuitive, but front loading the best stuff actually helps keep people or at least getting the info you want them to have.

Now that the 'brutal' is over, there are some really nice sections here, you have a nice feel for the material and it flows. I think tighter would help and it would also focus your story arc. There are kind of three 'chapters' as it were and perhaps thinking that way (what the story or arc is) might help your next project. Nice piece, I look forward to your next project.

Drew:

My apologies, apparently Will and I, on different coasts, wrapped up our reviews about the same time.

I did not want you to think we were ganging up on you. I would have just amended my comments if I had seen Will had posted.

Mike