Pedal Power Foundation (view this story)

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Rep: 141
Colin Mulvany Feb. 27, 2011, 2:14 p.m. permalink

Hi Tim, 

A couple of things that stand out here to me.
1. You just have one person speaking the entire time. What about all the kids that got the bikes? I bet there were a lot of happy kids and parents. I wanted hear from them.
2. You have a good selection of steady shots, but they became pretty redundant after a time. I needed to see more faces and less bikes. 
3. You could have used more tight and super tight shots. They would have worked great to break up your wide shots. Think visual variety--wide, medium,tight, super tight-- when editing a sequence together. 
4. Length. This video could have been just as effective at a 1:30 then the 2 minutes you had. 
5. Be brave and write a voiceover. This would have worked great in this type of news video. You could have condensed what your subject said by 60%. Then weaved in some short reaction interviews with the kids and parents. 
6. Finally, think about natural sound a little more than you did. I wonder if there was a bit of excitement from the kids just before the event. I'm alway looking for nat sound pops, those super quick clips that have a burst of sound or narrative that really help kick up the pace of your story. The anticipation could have been a great way to start the story and then end it with a shot of the kids' riding their bikes. 

Rep: 21
Peg Achterman Feb. 28, 2011, 8:31 a.m. permalink

Hi Tim - I'm with Colin here...more kids, more kids, more kids! 

I'd say "be brave" in another area -- don't be afraid to get in front of the action. Lots of what you had was from behind -- couldn't see reactions. You have to be bold in getting this stuff. Don't worry about being in the way -- all you need is one or two great reactions and then you can back off. Another good technique is to connect with a teacher early and find out what student might have the most emotional reaction and then just follow that kid.

Rep: 1
Tim Hacker Feb. 28, 2011, 12:53 p.m. permalink

Thank you both Colin and Peg for your feedback.  I guess I have always held back doing a voice over, but know it would help better tell the story.  Thank you again.

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