Royale Brothers finally confront the sorrow (view this story)

2 comments - Login to comment

Rep: 87
Michael Fagans Feb. 28, 2012, 9:31 p.m. permalink

Peter:

Not sure where to start. I think the questions you ask in the feedback requested area are spot on.That being said, recognizing some of the hurdles you faced are important: it was essentially a single room location, a band member was no longer there and there is difficulty in capturing sound in a situations like this.

The quotes that really caught my ear hit at the 2 minute and 3 minute marks. Not sure this helps, because as we all know, there is almost an infinite way to cut together pieces.

I think in the end I wanted more. I wanted to see more concert images or concert video, more images of the guitarist and less of the rehearsal room. The music was also a little heavy underneath some sections, but that is more subjective than other things.

I was glad to see that you guys went to the performance and almost wonder what a backstage interview might have captured.

In the end, I think it is a fine local piece because folks in your area can fill in some areas, but I am not sure in its current state that it translates to a general audience or a person on the other side of the country.

Not sure if I am helping, thanks for sharing your work and contributing on the FtF site.

Rep: 444
Eric Seals March 1, 2012, 8:39 a.m. permalink

Good points there by Michael.


Does it translate to a general audience?
If you were talking about outside your coverage area I'd say no.

To make it work for that audience outside the area I think you'd need to show us why we should care about this band.
Who they were before Phil's death. What were their dreams or goals before the death happened.  Did they have bigger plans to one day make it big? What has it been like getting started back up again?
Questioning the band more on why  Phil was the glue that held them together. What made him special?

With more storytelling, scripting and interviews of a wider range of people and the corresponding b-roll that would naturally come with it based off their answers or remembrances. 

Visually, show us more of Phil playing, etc other than that one picture you had (unless that was all you could find)
Any fan video or pictures of him playing that could of worked? Would be great looking back visually when the band or others talked about him with that gritty, shaky POV from fans cameras.
Even hearing from a fan of the band when Phil was playing. What he was like on stage. What they miss about him. There is always some super fan in every town big of small that knows everything about the local bands.  They consider themselves experts/historians and something like that would have been nice to take us out of the remaining members and into the community where the band played.

Stylistically in shooting....get us out of that basement but while in that basement when they are playing explore the space more, details would be great. Tight on fingers, faces, passion etc.
Another way to get us out of that basement is by building a nice visual sequence. Perhaps the outside of bars or clubs with nice light at nighttime. Places where the band played back in the day. Video of empty stages lit up would work well when people talk about Phil.

I loved how you were seeing with that nice detail of the wall and shadow of a guitarist at the 2:09 mark. There were a few moments like that but I would have loved to have seen more.

I can tell you were very limited by the poor lighting in there and like you Peter. I shoot with a traditional video camera similar to your Sony but when I feel I need to be rescued when it becomes low lighting hell I pull out my Canon 5D's for good b-roll in darker conditions.

As far as the narration in this piece I think it was way, way wordy. It was a constant voice and nothing stuck out with what he said. It was as if he was reading his story (it was the reporter right??) that was going in the newspaper...

Near the beginning he starts off...."their diverse personality fit like an odd but wonderers chemical compound, they had a hurricane force stage show....

Keeping the narration there?? A tighter written script with words for impact with better annunciation by him would have helped.

I totally understand Phil's death happened three years ago so getting some emotion out of it would be tough but I loved how around the 3:01 mark when Joey became reflective. I would of held onto that shot and moment more with some quiet afterwards rather than the undertone of music and a quick cut to the band playing and the narration by the reporter.

Hope this helps.  At 4 minutes long I just think the overall story, visually and the audio should always keep advancing us and luring us to stay watching.  Keep us hooked and totally engaged.

Eric  :-)


Login to comment

Likes

You must be logged in to like this story