Sparrow and the Workshop touring Crystal Fall (view this story)

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Rep: 20
Will Yurman July 2, 2010, 9:31 a.m. permalink

Hi Mell,
Thanks for submitting the slideshow. It has some interesting elements to it that work in spots for me. I like the high energy - the rapid fire transitions in the mid-point certainly fit the feel of the piece. The blending of the music with their words is also effective.

I'm not usually a fan of text slides, but the presentation with the type faces and design kept the type more interesting than most. Though I would much rather have heard them saying some of what you put in text.

Visually, the images are the least engaging part of the show. Lots of repetition early with badly exposed, out of focus and not very interesting portraits.

Some of the black and white images in the middle worked slightly better for me. But again there is a lot of repetition and nothing that is storytelling. More, "here I am photos" than "here's what I want to say" photos, if that makes sense.

Overall I wish there was more of a thread connecting everything - a story arc of some kind. The text quotes are interesting, the ending audio where she jokes about the crowd is your best audio by far and probably shouldn't be saved for the end. But there is a lot of what feels like filler - chatter, some music.

A more thoughtful interview if you had time and access, and a better idea of what you wanted to say about them would help.

Also, think about the rhythm of the show as you edit. Your photos seem to transition randomly rather in synch with the audio. You want everything to feel connected, edits and transitions are so important because they become points of distraction if not done well. You don't want to jar people out of the mood (or if you do, do it very consciously). We often make transitions on the pause or on the beat because it feels natural for example.

I do love the energy of the piece. Keep at it, and keep trying to make it more YOUR story, with your vision.

A last note, I think you mean bass not base?  And it's not its.  Pet peeve, but spelling mistakes drive me crazy :).

Hope this helps.

Rep: 0
mell Kisselkova July 16, 2010, 4:32 a.m. permalink

Thanks a lot Will!

That was my first multimedia and I must admit that I figured out the problem with the repetition while I was editing it - it was a course project of 90 sec piece and thought that 30 images will be enough... but not in the way I wanted it to look like.
I have something like 40 min of interview but as it was my first piece I just couldn't figure how to tell a story in such a short time.

I'll fix the mistake - it really makes more sense that way - just all of them had such a strong Scottish accent and as English is not my mother language it was very difficult for me to understand what they were saying.

About the sync between photos and sound - I was pretty sure that it is fine. At least I worked a lot on that but I guess I should try to figure out the story before shooting and recording and not to graze whatever I had done previously.

It was really helpful. I will be glad if you suggest some good example of multimedia that I watch and learn from.


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